it's just the thought of you

It's nice, thinking about someone. If you can't think about the person you're used to thinking about, or if suddenly you find yourself without someone in your mind, it feels very empty. I don't need to kiss or fuck or even hug anyone now, but it's nice having someone in my mind to fantasise about every now and then. No matter how stupid it all is.

1, 2, 3

Is funny the reasons and things people say sorry for. When guy1 dumped me, he never apologized for anything, he gave his reasons, I understood them, and that was it.

Guy2 would start saying he was sorry for misleading me, and when I would tell him he had nothing to be sorry about, that it was all my fault, he would stop. I don't know why, that made his apologies seem more sincere, he was sorry we had misunderstood each other and knew that the fault belonged to both of us.

Guy3 said he was sorry for not doing something that I didn't even expected him to do (but that I would be all the more happy if he would do it), and then he did it.

deeds

I feel like you owe me something, how silly of me.

needs?

"He needs me
He doesn't know it, but he needs me
And so no matter where he goes
Though he doesn't care
He knows that I'm here
He needs meI ought to leave him, but he needs me
I know that, I ain't very bright
Just to tag along
Oh, but right or wrong
I'm his and I'm here
And I'm gonna be his friends or his lover
'Cause my one ambition is
To wake him and make him discover
That he needs me
I've got to follow where he leads me
Or else he'll never know that
I need him
Just as he needs me "

someday I will forget you until midday

She woke up, rolled in bed a bit, got up, took a bath, dressed, checked her e-mails, talked a bit to some friends, and as she was leaving her place, locking the door behind her, she realized she hadn't thought about him yet that day. But there it was.

Deep In Earth

"Deep in earth my love is lying
and I must weep alone."Poe

the kick

Today I ask myself that question every girl ask herself once in a while; "how hard can I kick a man in the balls without unabling him having child". My thouths were decepted by the idea that if you care about his future kids, you don't want to kick his balls that bad. Which is very sad, because you are talking about it out loud, in english and in british accent about something you are not brave enough to do. Though it serously crossed you're mind.
Than, how about punching him in the face? It would be awkard to leave a mark or something, and people would ask again later, and you wouldn't be able to explain that you had a fair reason to do it. But you could explain to him, and him only, quoting his break up speach: that punching him in the face was the only thing you could do at the time, and that you didn't mean to hurt him, thought you knew it was inevitable. And that you're not gonna to appolagize because you would do the same thing if you were in that situation again. And that you still adimired him for the great person he is, and wishes to remain friends.
Imagine that, I could say that without lying once.
And it crossed your mind he wouldn't get that it was him you were quoting, because he'd be too busy acheing about his face. What a sissy! He didn't saw me cry, I'll tell you that.
And I was fair enough to care about his kids...

Sour

Men should taste like Guiness, 'cause Guiness already tastes like men.

Testing it

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love." Rose Walker (The Sandman - Neil Gaiman)