"if you ever meet someone who is willing to create worlds with you, make it work."

You will get hurt? Hurt, are you sure that's the word? I have been hurt before, badly, because I expected things from people, and I have hurt people because I didn't do what I had given signs I would do. You already expect something from me? You hardly know me... It took me almost a whole month but I have finally understood why that sounded so weird.

I don't want to think less of you just because you are being open about your feelings, but it just seems... foolish. Have you not learned, have you not been hurt, have you not been broken?

Lesson Learned

Now I really know bad things happen when you tread sex like a commodity to be earned by the man, like him doing a baby voice in bed.

Hostage

You are playing a women's game, but I'm not dumb enough to play the man.

toothbrush

I guess I'm just making the choice of hurting myself and others, instead of allowing others the opportunity to hurt me.

you know i love you, right?

i don't tell you enough...

Be Like Water

Today I met an old friend, who looooves pointing out how "young" I am because I was 15 when we met. His friend, a very awesome hipster, said "you don't look your age, you seem to have your shit together"

I will put that together with a few friends that told me I look "tough", and the cute guy who knew me for 5 minutes and said I behaved very "lightly" (in a non-commited, non-depesrate way), and say that fuck, I'm good at giving the wrong impressions.

Competition

I don't want to feel like I'm filling (feeling?) someone else's role/hole.

But it's weird isn't, it's our pasts that make us interesting, and also our future/s.

don't tell

Sometimes I realise I don't have any secrets. I try not to be an over sharer, but I have a hard time thinking of something I have done that I'm deeply ashamed of, that I wish none ever finds out (shame is such a strong feeling for me, that I do everything possible to avoid it, so I just stop myself before I do anything that I think might cause me shame... which leads to a kind of boring life sometimes)

Sometimes I think that not having secrets might not be such a positive thing. Maybe it's healthy having some secrets?

Sometimes I think I'm just fooling myself, that I'm so good at keeping my own secrets, I keep them from myself.

Sometimes I think my secret is that I'm a girl.

overreacting

I need some distraction, so here it goes...

you like travelling, and you talked a lot.

you are irish, and you wear glasses.

you recognised stuff from my music library, and you look like that character from that book.

you went though my books, and you are kind of shy.

and you, yes you, you are sweet and sleeping in your arms is the best, but your heartbeat is just not right.

so yeah, let me spread my attention as much as I can, to avoid thinking about you.

and frustation.

Doing my best

Why do I keep treating people the way they don't treat me?

pleased to meet you

"You just need to go out there and meet some new people!"
Sure. That's good advice, in theory. But tell me: WHERE should I go? WHO should I meet?

The world is full of people. Everywhere I go I see them. The people. They're on the public transport. Streets. Supermarkets. Other appartments in my building. But they don't seem to be the specific people who I want (need? hope) to meet.
I think this is because I am looking for a serious connection. I'm looking for someone to share something important with me. It's not something you can get right away just from "meeting" any of those people who tread around the buses, the corridors, the bars, the short courses. I don't need to MEET people. I need to KNOW people.

Cliche

Do we talk about the lack os sex because we are afraid of talking about the lack of love?

Passe

Nice choice of words, as always (looks like I can't go near someone that doesn't respect words)

All it takes to get hurt is to care

So this is how it ends, not with a bang but with a whimper

I don't care for you enough to be your girlfriend, bur I care enough to get hurt, and that's just the wrong amount of it.

I need attention, and ironically you have a deficit of it.

Guns: Maybe I'm enjoying a bit too much dating your opposite.

Self-a-where?

If I'm not me right now

then who is?

Resolutions

I'm just gonna give up on making sense (is not like I feel anyone else is trying to do the same anyway)

playing it uncool

The fact that I don't want you at all is irrelevant: what you did still bothers me. Even if I am happier now than you could ever have made me. Every now and then I remember, and the fact that you were such an asshole still makes me so angry. Weird, huh?

What If

He doesn't answer?

what I was afraid of happening is happening

fuck you!

Unknown Territory

You make me uncomfortable. In a good way. Most of the time, I just don't know how to react, and that forces me to think, which is good. But makes me doubt my decisions too, am I having too much fun just making them, for the sake of them?

Or am I just so surprised to meet someone that is such... an opposite?

You are so "loud" sometimes, and other times you are like a gentle whisper.

Sexx Laws

I can't even begin to put into words how much I fucking hate almost every single thing about the human interactions in today's society between men and women, specially the part about attractiveness and appearances. Honestly, fuck it.