Mirrors

Sometimes when I'm lying alone in bed, there's another girl here. It's not any of the other girls, is actually a copy of myself. But this copy acts just like (what I think) I'm suppose to act like.

I try to figure out what would have to be different in my life for me to be this other (better?) girl. Until I realize that if I were to be like this, I wouldn't be myself so much anymore.

And then I don't think you would love me. And trying to be sure of that, I go to sleep.

recurrent dreams

nothing changes that much.

blind leading the blind

Nobody knows what they're doing, after all.
I talked to someone who seemed so well-adjusted and confident, and it turns out she has the exact same paranoias and insecurities and questions as me.

I can't decide whether this is a good or a bad thing.

zumbi

every time I enter somewhere ... I search for things to try to defend myself from zumbis...
my life goes so annoying that I won´t even use a teddy bear to try to reverse the situation.

the devil's playground

I fancy myself an independent (and independent-minded) person. But when there is no one on my mind, I quickly and inappropriately "create" someone to fill that void. I will take a random guy and bestow on him an importance that he didn't earn and probably wouldn't be rewarded with if circumstances were different (that is, if I had someone else occupying my mind). I will take some guy with whom I have very little in common (just because he's cute, or whatever), and fantasise about him, and hope he likes me, and wonder if he's thinking of me, and thus he will take over and occupy my mind whenever it is idle.

Why can't I just occupy my mind with work, or study, or philosophy or science or art, or anything that doesn't involve a random man?

This habit pisses me off.

longing

I feel like I miss something, so much and so deeply, and yet I have no idea what it is.

My PMS is getting weirder and weirder.

prove me wrong

just do that, please. I hate having to live with my fears.

comprehension

I was hoping you would understand me. I am a tiny bit disappointed, who would've thought!!
But I have to say I am very happy with the kissing, and you are very cute. And I can understand myself.

half words

I guess this is the kind of sex I have always known I was looking for (all the others guys were either too scared to open their mouths or didn't think I was worth it) and now what? It's still just sex, the best kind there is, but "just" that.

I know it sounds damn stupid to say "you make me feel special", but it's not that... I have always known I was special*, I guess I just got use to people not realizing that

I hope you keep asking "and you?" and smiling at me, and that we get to do this again... And that's it, it's not right to hope for anything else, I know.



*that's so typical of my star sign.

to die on a sunday [fiction]

Everytime the lady with too much make up from the flight company asks for a name and contact number of a person in case of a accident, she gives the details of the last guy she slept with. Most of the time that's all the information she has about them, and she will never user it again. She's happy it can be of use one last time, to fill a stupid bureaucracy, so she will give it freely.

He will be the first to know, and think about her one more time.

And because if he had asked, she would have stayed another day.

thank you for that

You were EXACTLY what I needed!

blind

I can't figure out whether a light has just been switched on or off.
Were you ever that beautiful, or was it me? Are you still just as lovely, except I can't see it anymore?

You look so different, now that I don't feel the same.

Weight

The anger is gone it seems...
And I don't dare ask myself why,
That means I'm stronger or weaker?

I knew this would happen.

Who am I kidding.
I didn't know. I expected something else.

This too shall pass

we are stronger.

offline for you,sweet.

I understand that things to you are hard..
I really do. .
but well,they are hard for me too..and you can count with my help...and i..I have to do all by myself.
So i don´t want to help you ,it´s no because i´m selfish it´s because you are.

riddle me this

I can write in code, too. But I won't.
I hope you're not enough of an asshole to ruin our friendship. I hope you believe the things you quote. I hope I am not being an idiot for believing you again and again. If you are giving me false hope, STOP immediately.

But I can tell you one thing, and I am 100% sure of this, with no uncertain hopes: if you hurt me, it is really YOUR loss. I'll be back on my feet in no time, and you'll never know what you missed.

intuition

Animals know so much based on their instincts. Migrating birds fly south every winter. Sea turtles lay their eggs on the same beach where they were born. So many elephants go to the same graveyard to die. They all know where to go. They know when and where to go back. They know what to do, and how to do it.

How did we, as a species, "learn" to ignore our instincts, and how can we, as individuals, reconnect with them?

love is a losing game.

I don´t mind about what you think is important,what to do,what to complain,say adore..
because i can´t play ,i can´t win..this could kill me and i like what i have done to myself.
I won´t play.But I will expect until..you lose sense for me
or better... when love or another demon appears for us.
and then,babe,we will know how to use the darts with pleasure.

not very punk rock

It's one thing for your trusted friends to know your alimentary habits, but it's something completely different when a good chunk of your class knows how much you really love sugar.